An Emerald Green Day in the ParkI was jogging in the park last week when I was accosted by a strange, foul-smelling man. As this was a therapeutic run, I was concerned that changing my morning routine in any way would exacerbate the rage issues I spend every moment of my being keeping in check. Each day, I mollify the monster.
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“Can you spare me some money, sir?”I closed my eyes and breathed deeply. Stay calm. Be calm. I am calm.
“I said, do you have some change? I need to put some gas in my SUV.”
“Calm down. Just a minute.”
This Would Never DoI looked at the pulse monitor on my wrist. 140 and rising. I had to act right now, before my condition got out of hand.
“Just a minute, let me see.”
I began to fish through my gamma green fanny pack. Keys, lottery tickets, Swiss Army Knife… that could come in handy… no, wait, that’s the monster talking, ignore that… here we go, my wallet.
Living On the Margins of His Hummer“It’s so expensive to fuel up my gigantic SUV, I can’t afford a place to live. Sorry I smell so bad…”
“OK, sir, I hope this helps. Now please, don’t make me angry. You wouldn’t like me when I’m angry.”
“Uh, OK. Thanks.” He glanced at the wad I’d handed him, pocketed the cash and sprinted back through a nearby foliage cover like a frightened deer.
NO! I Couldn’t Have!It wasn’t until I could hear his laughter in the distance that I realized what I’d done. I thought I’d handed him only a few dollars, but then I remembered that I’d wrapped all of my cash inside a few singles. What a disaster! How was I going to survive until my next payday? I had to buy several pairs of pants to replace ones that I had torn. And the shirts; don’t get me started. All of this, in addition to food and the few bills I hadn’t already paid. What was I going to do? Something deep inside me wanted to get out and find something to break.
Nice PantsMy heart rate shot up to 170 and my anxiety was near boiling. Fortunately, as my hands thrashed about in my fanny pack, frantically searching for something that would save me, I found a business card for Ameriloan. I’d used them once before; their quick personal loans service was fast and efficient, and I remember it calming me down a great deal. After giving them a call, I felt as if a great weight had been lifted from my shoulders. Whereas I had been so upset that I felt as if I could have rushed into a small city and leveled it to the ground, now I was calm. Not only were quick personal loans the right thing to get my budget back on track, but I was approved for a bit more than I needed. Great for new pants.
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